There could be a lot said for the past year, 2011. There could also be a lot not said. Looking back over the year in review I cannot help but sit back, take a deep breath, and sigh...
I sigh for lives lost and for precious lives gifted to us...
I sigh for dreams lost and for depth of soul gained...
I sigh for arguments waged and for forgiveness expressed...
I sigh for seemingly endless moments of fear and for comforts found in an embrace...
I sigh for rising anger within and for capturing peaceful glimpses of time...
I sigh for struggles endured and for victories celebrated...
I sigh for the loneliness that traps us and for the community that surrounds us...
I sigh for the chance to give and for the humbleness to receive...
I sigh for missing old friends and for the ones that once again emerged along with the new people filling our lives...
I sigh for my children's pain and for the healing hand of God...
I sigh for the exhaustion we've taken on and for the rest we find in one another...
I sigh for the people affected by SMA and for the gathering of loved ones at their sides...
I sigh for the world in all of its messiness and for the chance to experience its beauty...
I sigh for the challenges Ella has faced and for the strength in which she confronts them...
I sigh for the heartache my wife has endured and for the grace she showers over us...
I sigh for the darkness that covers our minds and for the light that shines in our spirit...
I sigh for every moment I missed and for each smiling gaze I took in...
I sigh for every tear shed in misery and for the laughter shared in joy...
I sigh for the year that has passed without pausing to give us rest and for the year that beckons us on with its promise of its hope...
To look back and define, quantify, or make a judgement on 2011 would be a exercise in futility. It was what it was; it brought what it brought; it allowed us to experience what we experienced.
To look ahead to 2012 and anticipate, hope, or otherwise seek something we have yet to experience is also an act of empty gathering. It will be what it will be; it will bring what it will bring; it will provide us with the experiences that it does.
There really is only the moment of now which is a gift, a present, to us. If we spend our time admiring the packaging it came in or speak only of the creation of the gift; or if we ruminate over what will become of the gift itself...we cannot possibly enjoy the gift for what it is...for it is right there in front of us and then it's gone. The gift, the present, is fleeting at best.
I know not what I'll sigh for in 2012...I do know, however, that it will be a sigh that draws in a deeper, more meaningful breath; designed to cleanse my mind, my body, and my spirit.
