I hold a BA in Psychology and an MA in Education.
I am fascinated by human behavior. I have learned much through my life experiences, my education, and from working directly with children & families for nearly 20 years now.
I am fascinated by human behavior. I have learned much through my life experiences, my education, and from working directly with children & families for nearly 20 years now.
I remember learning about the 5 emotional phases that people go through when dealing with difficult times. I recall them with the acronym "DABDA":
*Denial
*Anger
*Bargaining
*Depression
*Acceptance
People go through these emotional phases when dealing with all kinds of events, although they may not necessarily be experienced in the order written; and often, any one of them can repeat themselves within the given event.
Within the past three days I have been angry. It's not something that I easily admit...at least not publicly like this, but it is true.
It’s an anger that resides deep within my core. An anger that works its way into the fabric of my life. An anger that I am fully aware of and at the same time I fight to keep down. An anger that is persistent, powerful, and unforgiving; feeding on itself; delighting in my pain. This anger, which is part of the emotional spectrum, is met with all my other feelings; vying for a position of highest emotion. It is strong. It is there. It is making a break for me. It demands my attention.
I know it is healthy for me to experience this emotion; as negative as it may be. I must honor the spectrum of emotions...I must allow myself to feel all of them. I get to know my emotions so I can deal with them appropriately. This emotional war has been thrust upon me.
It’s an anger that resides deep within my core. An anger that works its way into the fabric of my life. An anger that I am fully aware of and at the same time I fight to keep down. An anger that is persistent, powerful, and unforgiving; feeding on itself; delighting in my pain. This anger, which is part of the emotional spectrum, is met with all my other feelings; vying for a position of highest emotion. It is strong. It is there. It is making a break for me. It demands my attention.
I know it is healthy for me to experience this emotion; as negative as it may be. I must honor the spectrum of emotions...I must allow myself to feel all of them. I get to know my emotions so I can deal with them appropriately. This emotional war has been thrust upon me.
I sat in church this past Sunday. I listened to the pastor as Lindsay and I kept our eyes on our three little children. I have become quite good at giving the pastor my ear while being summoned by the wants and needs of a 4 year old, a 3 year old, and a one-and-a-half year old.
The sermon held its focus on the idea of hope. It was delivered alongside the ideas of optimism and pessimism. He related the three to one another to further illustrate his point.
I walked away with a better understanding of how optimism and pessimism wax and wane—how at any given moment they may come and go; depending on external factors that we live with everyday. Hope, on the other hand, does not ride the same waves optimism and pessimism ride.
When he spoke of hope I found myself listening more intently. My mind took in the idea that hope rides the winds of life in a upward, smooth, and ever increasing motion. It glides along our experiences, providing the impetus to persevere. It, unlike optimism and pessimism, is not dependent on external factors. Hope is a result of our soul’s need to let God in. Once we let Him into our hearts, truly let Him in…hope springs eternal.
Anger heard the same words I did. We battled for days. Anger took shots on me at every turn. Battles ensued.
I have fought with anger before in my day. I'm scarred, to say the least.
I've also learned about my enemy: my anger...I know its weak spots. I have armed myself with the one weapon I know will defeat it...
Love.
For with the love of my wife, the love of my children, and the love of all those who surround me anger stands not a chance. It will come again. It will find a place and a weakness within me...it will strike. I will fight once more.
I have love...and from that love I have hope. And within that hope I place myself.
I walked away with a better understanding of how optimism and pessimism wax and wane—how at any given moment they may come and go; depending on external factors that we live with everyday. Hope, on the other hand, does not ride the same waves optimism and pessimism ride.
When he spoke of hope I found myself listening more intently. My mind took in the idea that hope rides the winds of life in a upward, smooth, and ever increasing motion. It glides along our experiences, providing the impetus to persevere. It, unlike optimism and pessimism, is not dependent on external factors. Hope is a result of our soul’s need to let God in. Once we let Him into our hearts, truly let Him in…hope springs eternal.
Anger heard the same words I did. We battled for days. Anger took shots on me at every turn. Battles ensued.
I have fought with anger before in my day. I'm scarred, to say the least.
I've also learned about my enemy: my anger...I know its weak spots. I have armed myself with the one weapon I know will defeat it...
Love.
For with the love of my wife, the love of my children, and the love of all those who surround me anger stands not a chance. It will come again. It will find a place and a weakness within me...it will strike. I will fight once more.
I have love...and from that love I have hope. And within that hope I place myself.
