Whenever Ella is in her wheelchair right before bedtime I always go to the foot of the stairs and have her wheel herself to me. It's something we've done since she got her chair. It started out as a way to give her purposeful movement.
Now we just do it because we love to. She eagerly pushes her 7 lb wheelchair toward me with that unmistakable smile streaking across her delicate face; her arms working hard to produce the desired outcome of making those wheels move toward her daddy. When she arrives at the foot of the stairs she beams at me as we touch noses.
Tonight, as I lifted her out of her chair I did the normal repositioning of my hands around her torso. You see, as you pick up Ella nowadays, you have to be extra careful for a variety of reasons. Her body is frail, uncontrolled, and awkwardly heavy. She has her g-tube which we must always be cognizant. As I reposition my hands I always make sure her head and neck are stable before doing so, which always results in us looking at one another face to face; eye to eye. This is wonderful as I get yet another chance to see her soul through her beautiful eyes. Tonight, however, I saw something a bit different in her gaze. She looked at me and for a slight moment there was a questioning look in her eyes. A look that caused me to set deeper into the gaze we had established. My instinct was to ask her to give me a kiss. She obliged and then gave me another one on her own. She rested her head on my shoulder and I told her she is a good girl.
While sitting with her as she lay in bed, she took a hold of my hand with hers and we listened to the bi-pap together as we do each night. Tonight however, she did something a bit different. She raised her other hand straight up in the air...as if she were beckoning to be called on as one does in school. I've seen that style of hand raising before. The elbow is locked and the wrist flutters back and forth, trying to grab the attention of the teacher. Ella's hand was doing the same thing. It did attract my attention. She was delighting in the fact that as she lay in her bed she had so much more control and power against gravity. I could feel her energy as she worked her arm. No longer was it a floppy appendage but a real part of her that she could be in charge of. She continued for several minutes until her muscles grew tired. She then lay her arm above her head cradling the top of it with her hand...a position we've all be in yet we do it without such efforts.
Ella is rounding the corner and approaching 2 years of age. She was born on June 10 (2010). It'll be here before we know it...the look I saw in her eyes as I lifted her out of her chair made me realize that our youngest daughter is becoming more aware of herself. The pure joy in her aura as she manipulated her arm while in bed made me realize that Ella will always reach for the sky.
