After 9 days of intense therapy in treatment, I am now home from Linden Oaks. It was a rough 9 days.  I hated being away from Michael and the kids.  But I knew that it needed to be done. I learned a lot.  I became more in touch with my feelings. And most importantly, I broke the unhealthy eating cycle by retraining my body to eat healthy portions. While the eating disorder is now under my control, I still have to work on staying in control. So now I move forward towards recovery.   Through all of this I felt your love through prayers and kind words.   And we want to thank our family and friends who helped Michael this past week!  We are so blessed to be surrounded by such incredible support.  You are all amazing! We are now approaching the start of the school year for Michael and the kids, which means we'll be getting into more of a routine that I am definitely looking forward to.  Fall into early winter is my favorite time of ye...

We waited in the waiting room for what seemed like an eternity.  Just Lindsay and me.  It's not often that we get to spend uninterrupted time together; silent time; reflective time. We talked about her eating disorder, SMA, my work as a teacher, and iPhones. The waiting is over and Lindsay has checked herself into Linden Oaks to pursue professional help for her eating disorder.  She says ED is beginning to spiral out of control and knows she needs to "break the cycle". I missed her dearly when she went to Linden Oaks two years ago.  I will miss her even more this time 'round since my love for her has grown.  I know she must do this for herself and our family.  I also know an eating disorder is a complicated, complex disorder that few can truly understand, unless of course, you've experienced it first-hand. The road to recovery from an eating disorder is a long, fragile journey.  She will travel through it with grace, dignity, and strength...an...

Ella's follow-up appointment with the orthopedic surgeon went really well. He told us that what happened is called an "incomplete fracture" since there is no actual crack, the femur just bent a little.  Fractures and "bends" are a little more common for children with SMA, as their bones are not as dense due to limited weight bearing. Anyway, she didn't need a cast and she was able to take the ace bandage wrap off!  She just needs to take it easy for the next 4 weeks.  The only way she can make the injury worse is to bang into the same knee again, so we keep reminding her to slow down in her power chair :) Thank you all so much for your kind words and prayers for Ella!!

Today while we were enjoying the beautiful weather at a playground, Ella was driving her wheelchair (at full speed) and for a brief moment, took her eyes off of the path that she was traveling. The result?? She ran knee first into a picnic bench.  Hard. She was pretty hysterical and her knee immediately turned red, blue and purple, so we decided she should head to the ER for an x-ray. It turns out she has a small bend to her femur, which technically counts as a fracture.  The doctors put an ace bandage around her leg until she follows up with a pediatric orthopedic doctor within the next week. Poor Ella is miserable :( She finally passed out from crying when we got home...but then woke up screaming about 20 minutes later and we're having a very difficult time calming her down :( Please keep Ella in your prayers for comfort and fast healing, as we hope she doesn't have any regression due to this injury!

      Ella's look often falls into a gaze as she watches her siblings and the neighbor kids run, jump, and climb.  Her wheelchair sits silently in the grass waiting for her to push the joystick, bringing it to life.      Without missing a beat she grabs hold of her controls and charges forward over the rough terrain.  Each bounce of the chair over the lawn gives her muscles practice at maintaining her posture and head position.  She joins the other kids in the only way she know how and begins laughing, playing, and "running" around.        I often wonder what goes through her mind as she watches people.      We were at the playground just the other day.  After her 10 minute swing fix, she wanted to cruise the ramps.  There was a little girl slightly younger than Ella who was running up and down the ramp.  For what seemed like an eternity to me Ella simply sat there and stared at the g...

I'm not sure where to begin, so I guess I'll just jump right in... My eating disorder is back in full force.  I've been struggling for the past few months and I've lost quite a bit of weight, putting me in the "underweight" category of BMI (body mass index). I'm starting to realize that the transition into the spring season is the most difficult time of year for me.  Everyone starts to play outside, enjoying the nice weather.  Most of my friends have children the same ages as Ava, Henry and Ella, and they're becoming more and more independent each year.  My friends can have play dates or go to the playground and socialize with the other moms, while the kids go off and play together.  On their own. On their own. Ella cannot play "on her own".   It's hard for me to come to terms with the fact that Ella will never truly be able to function "on her own".  And ED (my Eating Disorder) is my coping mechanism.   I...

     Sitting here, in the wee hours of the early morning, the house lay quiet with the exception of the occasional call from Ella to be turned or one of her machines going off for one reason or another.        The days, however, are a different story.  The flurry of activity is no flurry at all.  It's more like a whirlwind.  Our house provides ample space for the kids to "run and roll" at near top speeds, chasing one another in endless circles, loops, and figure-eights throughout the first floor.  Furniture safely sits idle, never in the way, walls and corners are free from destruction caused by an errant wheelchair maneuver.   Even Sasa seems to enjoy watching (and sometimes joining in) the fun of "run and roll".       As Ella grows so do her needs.  They are evolving though.  Her basic needs remain the same...assistance with using the washroom, getting dressed, bathing, overni...