Every so often Henry asks Ella if he can ride in her wheelchair. She almost always says "yes".
The other day I watched him as he tooled around the house. Each time he passed me he would smile. He maneuvered the small 7lb micro-panthera chair quite well. He enjoys his time in the chair, knowing he can get out of it any time he pleases.
As I watched him make his rounds and get himself into and out of some precarious positions I began to think of the experience he is gaining having a sister with such extreme special needs. For Henry (and Ava alike) it's all they know. Ella's disability is simply part of who she is...and they accept it without question or reservation.
I continued watching him. My mind raced to the future...I imagined Henry in elementary school. I imagined him having a classmate with a disability. I imagined him being an advocate for that classmate. The scene that unfolded in my mind placed Henry in a position he has found himself in at home with Ella. A position that calls for him to be compassionate and caring, even for his own sister that he fought with moments earlier. A position that calls for him to be helpful and sensitive to the needs and feelings of another. It was a moment for me that filled my soul with pride for my boy.
Ella has taught us much in the 3 years she's been with us. She has elicited our patience, creativity, and compassion. She has demonstrated her perseverance and determination. She has brought to our family an experience that few and far between actually get to have. While our daily lives are hard, to say the least, and stressful, to put it mildly, along with being a bit scary in its uncertainty, we are graced with the experience of having to care deeply for a young girl who has challenges many of us would falter under...and in that experience we become more than what we were before her life began.
Henry has come a long way over the past year. He, too, has his challenges that became our challenges. He, too, works through them, just as we all do. He, too, will continue to face life as it comes to him...yet I feel he will face it with a somewhat different perspective than many of his peers. I look forward to watching him develop into that strong, sensitive, caring man that I envision him being as I watch him play with the natural play of a child while in Ella's wheelchair.
