Lindsay Ruth Casten~~
When Lindsay was pregnant with Ava we were quite naive about birthing a child. Our doctors feared that Ava would be too big for Lindsay to deliver. They told us if we attempted a natural birth we would risk shoulder distocia (baby's shoulders get stuck and they have to break them to get it out). Of course we feared for our unborn baby and went with the recommendation of a C-section...not knowing the implications for future pregnancies.
Ava was 7lbs. 3 oz. She would have fit just fine.
We worked through the anger and frustration and then we were pregnant with Henry. We went into the pregnancy with all the intention of having a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After a C-section). Everything was going well. In the last few weeks of the pregnancy, Lindsay's blood pressure began rising. It continued to rise until just a day or two before his due date when it was extremely high. The doctor ordered that the baby be delivered immediately...we knew this was the right decision as high blood pressure can be very dangerous. Henry was our 2nd C-section.
Then Ella was conceived.
We figured she would be a C-section as well since our doctor told us that a natural birth after two C-sections was not common practice. We accepted that and went on merrily with the pregnancy.
At about the 6 month mark with Lindsay and the baby's best interest at heart, after much research and talking it over with our doctor, we decided to go forward with the VBAC2 (Vaginal Birth After 2 C-sections).
Our doctor supported us, we hired a doula, and took a Bradley Birthing Class. We were serious.
Ella Sabine Casten was born naturally; with no medication; after an 15 hour labor.
Each child brought to us an experience that we hadn't bargained for...such is the way of life.
Ava brought to us the joy of being our first child...quite the delight she is as our first. She taught us much about parenting and continues to do so.
Henry brought to us the delight of the unexpected. We thought for sure he would enter the world one way and he did it another...we know that Henry will always do things just slightly different from others.
Ella brought to us the blissful experience of birthing a child the way nature had set it up...she brought to Lindsay (and myself) the experience of natural childbirth.
All three kids. Loved, adored, cared for by their mother & father.
Their mother.
Sometimes I watch Lindsay interact with them. She's a natural. She has a way with kids that few and far between can match.
I know the depth of her anguish over our youngest's terminal illness. We live it together everyday.
The bond, however, that a mother shares with her children is different that the one shared by a father. It may be something I do not fully understand or even comprehend, but it's there...I can feel it. The love of a mother goes unmatched...
Our marriage vows were proclaimed before many: "...to have and to hold, for better and for worse..."
Today, we talked about "good and bad" in church with a small group of people. We realized that whatever we label our situations, however we choose to assign words and meaning to them, the purpose of our having these three kids is clear...to love them through all that life brings to them.
I can see no other woman who does this better than my beautiful wife, Lindsay Casten.
