I walked into my sister-in-law's pre-wedding gathering with Henry & Ella in tow. Lindsay and Ava were part of the wedding party and were already there. The planning done by so many, the preparations all set for the day, and the gathering of family and friends would soon begin...with it bringing many people together after long stretches of time.
Weddings offer much to those who are there. For the newlyweds it's about publicly honoring their love; proclaiming, in the presence of those closest to them, how they feel about each other...carrying on the love and adoration so delicately placed in them by their parents. For the guests it's about witnessing that promise; bringing joy and celebration to the couple. Handshakes, that seem to last forever as exchanges of laughter and good tidings are expressed between people who may not have seen each other in a long time, fill the reception hall. Weddings offer the chance to connect and reconnect with others and with self.
I knew that this night would be different for our family as far as wedding celebrations go. It was to be the first time that we were to see so many people from Lindsay's side of the family since Ella was diagnosed with SMA.
This event--this wedding, this celebration of love between two dear people held many captivated. The bride and groom were shining as they pledged their promises to one another amidst their respective families. The bridal party was incredibly beautiful as they walked down the aisle; each person carrying with them the tenderness for love that they themselves felt. The guests from both sides of the family filled the atmosphere with love, kindness, and inspiration...for the newlyweds as well as for us.
The fact that our daughter has SMA dwells in our minds as a thought desperately trying to find its place. It's a subtle dwelling yet it seems to make its presence known all the time. Even when we are engaged in other affairs, the thought finds its way to the surface. For me, I am getting better at guiding that thought to its rightful time and place within my life. For now, however, that thought seems to have a will of its own...ever-present.
Finding myself among family & friends at the wedding allowed me to take in the goodness that comes from seeing people face-to-face. Many came to me, with a hand on my shoulder or a hug in firm arms, expressing how they felt about Ella, about our family, and about what we are going through. People held Ella, delighting in her contagious smile and her accepting nature. She enjoyed herself as she felt loved.
Some asked questions about our daily lives, some asked about SMA, others spoke of experiences they have had in their lives, while still others offered a sympathetic ear. One thing that remained constant as I connected with them was the love and sincerity in the eyes of those with whom I spoke.
I would say that if no one said a word to me about Ella, SMA, or how our family is doing, I could have simply looked into their eyes to see what their souls were feeling. The strength, courage, and comfort gained from so many different people carved a path for me to relax and enjoy the celebration at hand.
The thought that has become our reality, the thought of SMA in our lives, made it's way to its rightful place in my mind this weekend. It settled there for a brief moment, giving my other thoughts a chance to rise up and be expressed. I walked into work this morning and the first person who saw me remarked that I looked "relaxed" and that "it was good to see me that way".
I knew deep in my heart that spending time with caring people made all the difference.
